How Trauma Shows up in Relationships
Trauma can have a significant impact on relationships, both romantic and platonic. Trauma survivors may struggle with trust, communication, and boundaries, which can make it difficult to maintain healthy relationships. They may also experience triggers and flashbacks that can cause emotional distress and disrupt interactions with others. On the other hand, having a supportive and understanding network of loved ones can be a crucial part of the healing process for trauma survivors.
Trauma can also show up in relationships through attachment wounds.
Attachment theory is a psychological theory that explains how individuals develop emotional bonds with others, particularly in the context of close relationships. The theory was first proposed by John Bowlby in the 1950s and has since been expanded upon by other researchers, including Mary Ainsworth and Mary Main.
The theory suggests that infants develop an attachment to a primary caregiver, usually the mother, as a result of their innate need for safety and security. As they grow, they form different types of attachment styles based on the quality of care they received in early childhood.
The four main types of attachment styles are secure, anxious-ambivalent, anxious-avoidant, and disorganized.
Attachment theory also suggests that an individual’s early experiences with attachment figures shape their expectations and behaviors in future relationships, and that insecure attachment styles can have a negative impact on mental health and relationship functioning.
It has been widely studied in developmental psychology, and has been applied to the study of adult romantic relationships, parenting, and the development of attachment disorders. For example, if you have an avoidant attachment style, you're likely to pull away from vulnerability and any type of discomfort in the relationship. If you have an anxious attachment, you might need more reassurance that the relationship is going well and that your partner still cares for you.
If you feel like you might be struggling in your relationships due to trauma or attachment issues, counseling can help you feel safer connecting to your partner and friends. You can find healing in your relationships and feel more deeply connected to your loved ones!